As I drove through the gate, and passed by the staging yard, I had to navigate my way around a multitude of trucks, all carrying several huge conex containers., and all forming into a convoy. After a moment of confusion, I suddenly realized that this convoy contained the equipment and belongings of the next brigade preparing to deploy.
For some inexplicable reason, I suddenly began to tear up. That was a first for me and, as I continued to drive towards my building, the tears wouldn't stop. All I could think about was what awaited these soldiers at their destination.
I had just recently spent three days with these very same soldiers ... so many young ones with an empty right shoulder, eager to go and follow in the footsteps of their battle buddies. I thought of the men they would become, hardend by what they would experience, and disillusioned when reality would refuse to meet fantasy.
And I cried, because the softness in me wanted to protect them all, and the knowledge that no one could, was too great a burden to hold. And my heart was heavy.
At that moment, I wondered if it might be time for me to rest. I wondered if a time away from the madness might be best. I wondered if a complete change of scenery and perspective might rejuvenate my soul. Maybe a time in Korea is just what it really needs. Maybe.
Suzanne, I have NO DOUBTS that you DO need to rest. I'm in the same boat but not for the same experiences. Perhpas related ones but not the xame ones. I cannot figure out if I am emotionally dead or drained. It's very unsettleing and difficult.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you, like me, have had many enlisted and officers tell you that even they get "down" town between deployments. I've heard them but never really "listened" since we always feel that committment to those who are deployed. Now I'm having to listen. As hard as it is to admit I have to step back and take care of me for a little while.
I'm sure you need to do the same and I hope that you will.
Sending you omuch appreciation, love and many hugs.
Your work touches many and brings comfort those who need it. Your resolve and care may not be appreciated at the times when you need it but it is echoed as Soldiers return home to their loved ones. I wish you well as you go to a new assignment... along with comes new challenges and new friends. You always have a place to stay at our home. Godspeed.
ReplyDeleteMAJ Jayme K. Hansen
253-365-4185